Babies Raise their Parents

The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.
-Denis Waitley

"Children influence their parents as much as parents influence their children," writes Alison Gopnik in The Philosophical Baby. "Individual differences in the ways that children act lead to differences in the ways that parents act."

"The very same parent may treat two siblings very differently. You can see this in extreme cases, such as cases of abuse. Very often, one child in a family ends up being abused. Sickly or irritable children seem especially vulnerable. But it seems to happen in more ordinary cases, too. Parents respond to different children in different ways and two siblings may, literally, grow up with very different parents....

"It's not just that it's impossible to interact with very different children in the same way. In fact, even if you did exactly the same thing with each of your children, your actions would mean something different. Put the wiggly, active, thrill-seeking sister in a bouncy swing and she is overjoyed. Put the timid, shy, stay-close-to-home sister in the swing and she is terrified."

Newsletter - June 2013

Bonding with Babies

The sun, the earth, love, friends, our very breath are parts of the banquet. - Rebecca H. Davis

In her article, "Bonding with Your Babies," one of the articles in the Exchange Essential: Friendship, Alice Honig makes this observation...

"Babies flourish with loving caregivers. So the first and foremost emotional neediness of a baby is for YOU to become intimately engaged with the baby. Sure, you will hold and cuddle. Sure, you will respond to infant distress. But the essence of quality infant caregiving lies in the emotional bond you forge with each infant.

"Unlike adults, babies happily cope if they have more than one love partner in the duet of caring! Not only parents and grandparents, but child care personnel can serve as intimate partners in babies' lives. Finding your way to create a love affair with each infant will take emotional skillfulness and a willingness to become a pleasuring and pleasured partner." 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.
-Ed Cunningham

With a tip of the hat to Aretha Franklin, Exchange has announced it's newest offering, Respect: A Practitioner's Guide to Calm & Nurturing Infant Care & Education by Toni Christie from New Zealand. Christie defines respect as follows:

"Respect is the key to relationships. When you show consideration for another person, you communicate to them that they are valued. Feeling valued contributes to a sense of trust and self-esteem and is reflected in the individual's ability to form and maintain relationships with others.

"A culture of respect in your early childhood centre will mean that interactions between teachers and children are respectful and reciprocal. It will mean that teachers in the team show respect for one another and also that teachers and parents communicate and act respectfully."

Aesthetics of Your Space

The goal of compassion is not to care because someone is like us, but to care because they are themselves. - Mary Lou Randour

In Caring Spaces, Learning Places, Jim Greenman paints this picture of the aesthetics of a centre...

"Imagine a room where there are bright splashes of colour, often attached to moving bodies, and warm muted hues on carpet and walls — the colourscape.... There is a lightscape that changes, marking the passage of the day. Sunshine catches the light of a prism in one corner, and there is a small patch of sunlight so bright you have to squint. There are soft indirect lights, shadows, and cool dark corners...

"There are hanging baskets of trailing green plants, flowers, pussy willows and cat tails, angel hair and dried grasses.... There are smells of fresh dirt, lilacs and eucalyptus, garlic and baking bread: an aromacape, not dominated by disinfectant and bodily waste.

"One hears laughter and singing, animated conversation, perhaps soft classical music or the faint sound of the infectious backbeat of reggae from somewhere down the corridor. Added to the soundscape is the ticking of clocks, chirping of birds, and the squeaking and rustling of a pig.

"As one walks around feeling heavy, dark wood and silky fabric; hard, cold metal and warm fur; complex textures; and watery, slippery, gooey things, there is a breeze from an open window here, and a sunny, hot spot there, creating a number of microclimates.

"Everything somehow seems to fit together in a comprehensible way — a rich normality."

Your Image of the Child

Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.
-Lou Holtz

Loris Malaguzzi, the founder of the Reggio Emilia Approach, offered these insights on the image of the child is his article, "Your Image of the Child: Where Teaching Begins," in the Exchange Essential: Inspiring Practices - Part 1.

"There are hundreds of different images of the child. Each one of you has inside yourself an image of the child that directs you as you begin to relate to a child. This theory within you pushes you to behave in certain ways; it orients you as you talk to the child, listen to the child, observe the child. It is very difficult for you to act contrary to this internal image. For example, if your image is that boys and girls are very different from one another, you will behave differently in your interactions with each of them.

"The environment you construct around you and the children also reflects this image you have about the child. There's a difference between the environment that you are able to build based on a preconceived image of the child and the environment that you can build that is based on the child you see in front of you — the relationship you build with the child, the games you play. An environment that grows out of your relationship with the child is unique and fluid.

"The quality and quantity of relationships among you as adults and educators also reflects your image of the child. Children are very sensitive and can see and sense very quickly the spirit of what is going on among the adults in their world. They understand whether the adults are working together in a truly collaborative way or if they are separated in some way from each other, living their experience as if it were private with little interaction."

Ten New Skills

Chance favours the prepared mind.- Louis Pasteur

"The world is changing at a lightning pace, yet schools remain locked in models developed more than half a century ago. Our grandchildren are being exposed to courses, teaching methods, and school schedules that are remarkably similar to what we experienced. We are preparing our children for a world that is long gone." This was the introduction to the Exchange article, "Preparing Our Children Now for the Future: Five Outcomes to Pursue," which is included in Early Childhood Education Trend Report - Revised Edition. This provides a good lead in to an article "10 New Skills That Every Worker Needs," in Rotman Management (Winter 2013). The skills identified in the article:

1. Computational thinking — making sense of all the data at our disposal
2. Design mindset — shaping the impact of our environments
3. Cognitive load management — filtering and focusing to prevent overload
4. New media literacy — using the new tools
5. Transdisciplinarity — multifaceted problems require transdisciplinary solutions
6. Sense making — high-level thinking that can't be performed by machines
7. Social intelligence — assessing emotions and adapting accordingly
8. Novel and adaptive thinking — responding to unique circumstances
9. Cross-cultural competence — operating in diverse environments
10. Virtual collaboration — working effectively at a distance